It's been
18 months since I last wrote a meditation "email", although I haven't
sent one out as an email in almost seven years, since I lived in Minnesota. For those of you who haven't kept up with my
journey in blog form, I will update you. Then I will share with you the latest
revelation I experienced during my meditation just a few minutes ago.
October
19, 2008 was the last time many of you heard from me. At that time, my wife
Bianca and I had bought a house in Richfield, Minnesota, and we had been living
there for three months. I turned the wine cellar part of our basement into my
meditation cave. I was working part time for a security company, and my main
post was the famed Guthrie Theater in downtown Minneapolis. Since that time,
life has changed dramatically.
One year
later, on October 15, 2009, I suffered a stroke. But within six weeks, I was back
to my old self again, much to the amazement and surprise of everyone I knew
including the neurologist who treated me. The secret to my recovery was
persistent pushing, not letting my incapacities keep me down. At that time in
life, I felt that I was having an emotional setback with my practice being as
slow as it ever was, losing my job at the security company because of
challenges imposed by new (then) diagnosis with autism, and with feeling stuck as
I approach midlife. It was time for a change.
Despite going
to a counselor to help me deal with autism-imposed marital and social problems,
getting a dog in the summer of 2009, and making more contact with people over
the next couple years, everything changed in April of 2012. Bianca and I divorced,
and I said goodbye to Minnesota for good. I decided I was going to follow my
Jupiter line as drawn on my astrocartograph, and I ended up in Yuma, Arizona.
But it wasn't before I made a trip back to my home town of Reading,
Pennsylvania to care for my ailing father. When his health became stable to a
degree (yet still volatile), I left for Arizona. Shortly after I arrived in
Arizona, my dad passed away.
The
Jupiter line seemed to promise professional success and abundance. I chose Yuma
since I wanted to be in a warm environment. I figured living along this line
would be the thing to do instead of going through the endless struggle to
succeed. I figured a little help from the Universe should have helped. It did,
but not in the way I had planned. Although I remained almost penniless and
mostly homeless during the ten months I lived there, I made it a regular
practice to go hiking in the Sonoran Desert just to the east of Yuma and to
meditate there. I also finished writing a book, a book that was originally
supposed to be a joint venture with my ex-wife Bianca. In this book, I talk
about some of the fantastic experiences, some of them otherworldly, that I
experienced during my time in Yuma, Arizona. (You can find out more about my
book at http://drpvsuglia.wix.com/holistichealing#!the-doctor-is-in-book-information/c1bae
.)
It was a
good run living and working in Yuma, Arizona. Meeting people, making friends, and building a practice was much
easier in Arizona than it ever was in Minnesota. It was because of goodhearted
people I met that I spent so much time there, as some of them took me in when I
had no place to live. Yet, after ten months, it all still wasn't enough to keep
me there. I ended up returning back to Reading, PA on April 28, 2013.
I ended
up living with my mom. Despite my fruitless search for work, I finished editing,
and ultimately published, my book. On October 2, 2013, I met my current
significant other, Becky. Shortly afterwards, my mom became very ill. She then
passed away on December 1. She had lived in a state of exceptional sadness ever
since my dad passed away. I felt better knowing that I was there to keep her company
during the last seven months of her life. I continued to live in her house
until my brothers and I cleaned it out to sell it in March. That's when I
started living with Becky and her 18-year-old daughter Brittany.
Becky and
I connect extremely well on a spiritual level. She is also quite empathetic
toward my professional and financial struggle, as she had been experiencing the
same struggles during the past few years. She, like me, has a professional
degree. She works as a self-employed Licensed Social Worker, and she also
struggles to build a clientele. It is a joy to be with both her and Brittany,
and the three of us are quite on-par with our philosophies and life goals.
Just a
few minutes ago, while chanting to "Om Namo Bhagavate Muktanandaya"
in the Bhupali Raga, I had a most amazing revelation. It was entirely about the
very purpose of life itself. There IS only one purpose, and that is to
celebrate existence itself. Shiva became manifest to experience himself. The
experience of one's self can only happen in a dualistic manner, identically to
looking into a mirror. So, Shiva took form and became flesh. That IS who we
are. We have no other purpose but to BE.
Unfortunately,
though, our notion that we are SEPARATE from God brings pain. Because of this
pain, we wonder why we exist. Yet, it is not the belief in the separation itself
that causes this pain. Instead, it is the inborn drive to be of use to others
in this world, to interact, to fit in somehow. We INSTINCTIVELY feel that we
are here to be part of the whole. When we feel that we are not part of the
whole, the pain of a perceived "separation" ensues. We feel that we
are SUPPOSED to be of service to others, to be approved of by others, to be one
with the world around us. When you can successfully detach from all this and
know that we are all but reflections of the same God, then you have achieved
liberation and enlightenment. You are no longer pained by the illusion of
separation.
On the
same note, it is important to realize that there exists an antichrist. The
antichrist is not a person who will come at some point in time to destroy the
world. The anti-Christ is, quite literally, that which is against the
REALIZATION that everything is one and the same Universal Consciousness. The
anti-Christ is alive and well within every one of us as it is OUR OWN EGO. We
defeat the anti-Christ every time we meditate, sing praise to, worship, honor,
serve, and celebrate OUR OWN EXISTENCE, our own oneness as we are all made in
the very image and likeness of God.
(To view
my posts in blog form, please see http://DrPVSuglia.blogspot.com .)
Sadgurunath
Maharaj Ki Jay!
