It may be strange to see me writing another blog post so soon after the last one. I typically average three to four weeks between posts. I guess you can say that I made a self-discovery in the past day. If somebody asks me a question that deserves an answer, then I can come up with something to write about. Otherwise, my communication is pretty sparse. I recently started a fan page on Facebook, which as of the writing of this blog post has 109 fans. Thanks to Facebook Adwords, I am getting the word out about me and what I do as a Holistic Physician, minister, and educator. But the Adwords advertising campaign will not last very long because money is not a commodity for me right now. And, like for most audies, it never had been. Thanks to that most intriguing and baffling art form called “communication”, I, like many audies, have a terrible time making ends meet in this world.
There was once an essay written by Emily Perl Kingsley entitled “Welcome To Holland”. This writing has been adopted by many autism activist parents to describe their struggles with raising an autistic child. I recently told my wife that the neurotypical world really seems like Holland to the autistic person (the audie). She wondered how that translated. I explained that it is JUST as hard for an audie to figure out what the neurotypical (“normal”) world wants as it is for the neurotypical person to figure out how to relate to the audie. This is largely because of miscommunication and misinterpretation. Audies are very capable of communicating, but they do so in their own way. Communication is not always verbal, and when it is it is often misunderstood or done inappropriately (according to the rules of the neurotypical world, that is). What an audie is communicating, however, may make perfect sense to another audie. Figure that one out! Such is the nature of living in Holland.
Just as there are all types of audies ranging from the brilliant scientists to the totally incapacitated, there are also all levels of communication. Dr. Temple Grandin is an excellent example of an outstanding communicator, even though she has classical autism. As for me, my best form of communication is writing. This is true for most nonverbal audies, and also for those who are socially awkward with their verbalism. For nonverbal children, perhaps the best way to get them to communicate is to use picture cards. One of the followers of my Facebook fan page invented her own picture card system that helps her to communicate, quite effectively, with her autistic daughter. I have seen other such systems being used as well to help in communicating with the nonverbal audie.
The most important thing to keep in mind is that with the audie, communication has to develop and occur at its own pace and in its own way. It may never be the way the neurotypical wants it to be. Also, for the audie to learn his/her own way around Holland, I strongly urge him/her, and the neurotypical caretaker, to read the book “Unwritten Rules Of Social Relationships” by Dr. Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. Just by reading this book, the caretaker will FINALLY get a very good glimpse at what is going on in the audie’s mind. Also, the audie will learn what is expected of him/her by the neurotypical world in order to fit in, to some degree anyway.
One reason why audies, especially as children, may have tantrums or may become short-tempered is because they are TRYING their darnedest to communicate, in the way that they can, and are still often misunderstood. This is all the more reason for discovering proper communication abilities and channels early on in life. This trying and being misunderstood is still incredibly frustrating for me when I know that I didn’t exactly say what I wanted to say, and people thought I was actually meaning something completely different. Jobs have been lost because of this, and my current practice goes unbuilt for this same reason. Just because I have what some people call an “impressive” resume doesn’t mean I’ve been successful with making a living at it. I have not. Goodness knows what bridge I’d be living under if it wasn’t for the unhuman amount of patience that my wife has.
One thing that I strongly encourage, for communication building, is for the audie and their caregiver to become involved in their local chapter of the Autism Society of America. With attending their support groups and classes, each person can learn some very helpful techniques to help build and discover an effective line of communication. Not only that, but you will find that you are not alone in your plight, and you will have others that you can count on. I feel that the lack of proper communication between audie and caregiver/the neurotypical world is the most frustrating part of having an Autism Spectrum Disorder. If we all knew what the other meant and was expecting, the rest of it would be easy. How to communicate effectively is something that can only be found out by trial and error.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
The Prediction
It was the summer of 1994. I had just moved into my new apartment in Smyrna, Georgia. I was about to begin my final quarter of undergraduate prerequisite studies. In just another three months I was to begin chiropractic school. I sat down to write a letter to an old friend of mine, a Catholic priest that I had known since I was nine years old. Father Stephen Halabura was a part of my growing years, and he and I spent a lot of time together. He was always my go-to person when I was feeling out of place around my peers during junior high school and high school. In the letter, I told him how excited I was about studying to become a chiropractor. Much to my own surprise, I had written to him, “Becoming a chiropractor is merely the next step toward my real calling in life.” I had no idea what the next step was. In that moment, I knew that there would be something beyond. I have been a chiropractor now for over ten years. I feel that by the end of 2010 I will finally discover what the real calling is.
Almost nine months after writing that letter, my struggle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome began. Three years after that, my most amazing Spiritual journey began. In April of 1998 I joined a meditation group hosted by one of my teachers. In July I learned Reiki, and in August I was introduced to my Guruji, Swami Chidvilasananda, more lovingly known as Gurumayi. On October 3, at about 8:00 PM, I received the gift of Shaktipat, the awakening of the Kundalini energy. That firmly grounded me in the knowledge and the experience of the entire universe, manifest and unmanifest, being God. This event, along with all the healing arts I have learned, are key to what my real calling will be. The pain and suffering I endured, and continue to endure of sorts, from my own health challenges are also key to whatever my real calling is. Something amazing lurks in the not-too-distant future.
This past weekend, my wife Bianca and I spent a weekend in Chicago at the Celebrate Your Life conference which is hosted by Mishka Productions. It was a life-enhancing event. It was good to be around so many people who held the Spiritual path in high esteem. Not since visiting the Siddha Yoga ashram in South Fallsburg, New York (which I last did in 2002) did I feel so fulfilled. Although there were many famous speakers there, the three that I got the most from were Caroline Myss, Neale Donald Walsh, and Deepak Chopra. What these three people had to say pretty much summed up what I have been experiencing on the spiritual path for the past twelve years. Caroline Myss said, “Imagine that…” and she went on to describe EXACTLY what I had experienced the moment I received Shaktipat in 1998. Neale Donald Walsh explained in a very practical way not only how we can have our own conversation with God but also the fact that everything that is IS God. And Deepak Chopra really reeled me in with a scientific look at how everything that appears to “exist” is actually a waveform, God’s Consciousness, or, as Swami Muktananda would say, a “Play Of Consciousness”. None of these things were new to me. It was all profound because everything I had contemplated, meditated on, and read about in the words of Muktananda during the past twelve years was re-divulged in a most awe-inspiring way.
So, what is the “next step”? What is my real calling? Many people over the years have said that my greatest strength is my gift of writing. My Reiki Master just reminded me of that again today. In a recent blog post, I wrote that I can only write well, if at all, when inspired, and that this doesn’t happen more than about once a month. I am feeling, though, that this past weekend put a charge into my motivation to write more. That’s a good thing. Professionally, things are being rearranged. Today is the day I will be closing my office in St. Louis Park, MN. It doesn’t mean that I will no longer practice as a chiropractor. Instead, I will see people in my own home and will focus even more on holistic practice. I am also working more on bringing my ministerial work to the forefront. I think that if I contemplate things long and hard enough, I could find a way to be an avid writer. Making a living at it would certainly be a challenge, just as everything else I ever tried had been. One nice note to make is that I’m being invited more to speak about living with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I received three invites just in the past week! Only one of them will be a paid gig though, and it’s not even for sure that it will take place. Perhaps I can challenge myself a bit more and advertise again for The Wellness Interfaith Church and for doing health talks in my “new” home office setting? Yes, I have so much to say and so much to offer in the realm of healing. I don’t want to give myself false hope, as I’ve done so often, but I do feel that some positive changes are about to take place. The real calling, whatever it is, is near.
Almost nine months after writing that letter, my struggle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome began. Three years after that, my most amazing Spiritual journey began. In April of 1998 I joined a meditation group hosted by one of my teachers. In July I learned Reiki, and in August I was introduced to my Guruji, Swami Chidvilasananda, more lovingly known as Gurumayi. On October 3, at about 8:00 PM, I received the gift of Shaktipat, the awakening of the Kundalini energy. That firmly grounded me in the knowledge and the experience of the entire universe, manifest and unmanifest, being God. This event, along with all the healing arts I have learned, are key to what my real calling will be. The pain and suffering I endured, and continue to endure of sorts, from my own health challenges are also key to whatever my real calling is. Something amazing lurks in the not-too-distant future.
This past weekend, my wife Bianca and I spent a weekend in Chicago at the Celebrate Your Life conference which is hosted by Mishka Productions. It was a life-enhancing event. It was good to be around so many people who held the Spiritual path in high esteem. Not since visiting the Siddha Yoga ashram in South Fallsburg, New York (which I last did in 2002) did I feel so fulfilled. Although there were many famous speakers there, the three that I got the most from were Caroline Myss, Neale Donald Walsh, and Deepak Chopra. What these three people had to say pretty much summed up what I have been experiencing on the spiritual path for the past twelve years. Caroline Myss said, “Imagine that…” and she went on to describe EXACTLY what I had experienced the moment I received Shaktipat in 1998. Neale Donald Walsh explained in a very practical way not only how we can have our own conversation with God but also the fact that everything that is IS God. And Deepak Chopra really reeled me in with a scientific look at how everything that appears to “exist” is actually a waveform, God’s Consciousness, or, as Swami Muktananda would say, a “Play Of Consciousness”. None of these things were new to me. It was all profound because everything I had contemplated, meditated on, and read about in the words of Muktananda during the past twelve years was re-divulged in a most awe-inspiring way.
So, what is the “next step”? What is my real calling? Many people over the years have said that my greatest strength is my gift of writing. My Reiki Master just reminded me of that again today. In a recent blog post, I wrote that I can only write well, if at all, when inspired, and that this doesn’t happen more than about once a month. I am feeling, though, that this past weekend put a charge into my motivation to write more. That’s a good thing. Professionally, things are being rearranged. Today is the day I will be closing my office in St. Louis Park, MN. It doesn’t mean that I will no longer practice as a chiropractor. Instead, I will see people in my own home and will focus even more on holistic practice. I am also working more on bringing my ministerial work to the forefront. I think that if I contemplate things long and hard enough, I could find a way to be an avid writer. Making a living at it would certainly be a challenge, just as everything else I ever tried had been. One nice note to make is that I’m being invited more to speak about living with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I received three invites just in the past week! Only one of them will be a paid gig though, and it’s not even for sure that it will take place. Perhaps I can challenge myself a bit more and advertise again for The Wellness Interfaith Church and for doing health talks in my “new” home office setting? Yes, I have so much to say and so much to offer in the realm of healing. I don’t want to give myself false hope, as I’ve done so often, but I do feel that some positive changes are about to take place. The real calling, whatever it is, is near.
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