The Prediction

It was the summer of 1994. I had just moved into my new apartment in Smyrna, Georgia. I was about to begin my final quarter of undergraduate prerequisite studies. In just another three months I was to begin chiropractic school. I sat down to write a letter to an old friend of mine, a Catholic priest that I had known since I was nine years old. Father Stephen Halabura was a part of my growing years, and he and I spent a lot of time together. He was always my go-to person when I was feeling out of place around my peers during junior high school and high school. In the letter, I told him how excited I was about studying to become a chiropractor. Much to my own surprise, I had written to him, “Becoming a chiropractor is merely the next step toward my real calling in life.” I had no idea what the next step was. In that moment, I knew that there would be something beyond. I have been a chiropractor now for over ten years. I feel that by the end of 2010 I will finally discover what the real calling is.


Almost nine months after writing that letter, my struggle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome began. Three years after that, my most amazing Spiritual journey began. In April of 1998 I joined a meditation group hosted by one of my teachers. In July I learned Reiki, and in August I was introduced to my Guruji, Swami Chidvilasananda, more lovingly known as Gurumayi. On October 3, at about 8:00 PM, I received the gift of Shaktipat, the awakening of the Kundalini energy. That firmly grounded me in the knowledge and the experience of the entire universe, manifest and unmanifest, being God. This event, along with all the healing arts I have learned, are key to what my real calling will be. The pain and suffering I endured, and continue to endure of sorts, from my own health challenges are also key to whatever my real calling is. Something amazing lurks in the not-too-distant future.

This past weekend, my wife Bianca and I spent a weekend in Chicago at the Celebrate Your Life conference which is hosted by Mishka Productions. It was a life-enhancing event. It was good to be around so many people who held the Spiritual path in high esteem. Not since visiting the Siddha Yoga ashram in South Fallsburg, New York (which I last did in 2002) did I feel so fulfilled. Although there were many famous speakers there, the three that I got the most from were Caroline Myss, Neale Donald Walsh, and Deepak Chopra. What these three people had to say pretty much summed up what I have been experiencing on the spiritual path for the past twelve years. Caroline Myss said, “Imagine that…” and she went on to describe EXACTLY what I had experienced the moment I received Shaktipat in 1998. Neale Donald Walsh explained in a very practical way not only how we can have our own conversation with God but also the fact that everything that is IS God. And Deepak Chopra really reeled me in with a scientific look at how everything that appears to “exist” is actually a waveform, God’s Consciousness, or, as Swami Muktananda would say, a “Play Of Consciousness”. None of these things were new to me. It was all profound because everything I had contemplated, meditated on, and read about in the words of Muktananda during the past twelve years was re-divulged in a most awe-inspiring way.

So, what is the “next step”? What is my real calling? Many people over the years have said that my greatest strength is my gift of writing. My Reiki Master just reminded me of that again today. In a recent blog post, I wrote that I can only write well, if at all, when inspired, and that this doesn’t happen more than about once a month. I am feeling, though, that this past weekend put a charge into my motivation to write more. That’s a good thing. Professionally, things are being rearranged. Today is the day I will be closing my office in St. Louis Park, MN. It doesn’t mean that I will no longer practice as a chiropractor. Instead, I will see people in my own home and will focus even more on holistic practice. I am also working more on bringing my ministerial work to the forefront. I think that if I contemplate things long and hard enough, I could find a way to be an avid writer. Making a living at it would certainly be a challenge, just as everything else I ever tried had been. One nice note to make is that I’m being invited more to speak about living with an Autism Spectrum Disorder. I received three invites just in the past week! Only one of them will be a paid gig though, and it’s not even for sure that it will take place. Perhaps I can challenge myself a bit more and advertise again for The Wellness Interfaith Church and for doing health talks in my “new” home office setting? Yes, I have so much to say and so much to offer in the realm of healing. I don’t want to give myself false hope, as I’ve done so often, but I do feel that some positive changes are about to take place. The real calling, whatever it is, is near.

Ripping Pages

I hope you have either enjoyed or hated, very much, my first few posts in this blog. I guess you could entitle what you have seen so far "My Struggle." (I will not translate that title into German, thank you.) While much of what this blog will be about in time to come is different, I wanted to share with you a bit of my history, including my state of mind. Afore October 3, 1998, I was not a very likeable person. It was easy to see my struggle. It was written on my face. What is written in words here is pretty much what came out of my mouth, moreso directed at myself in anger. But what happened on October 3, 1998 changed my life forever. A person who I mentioned in this blog before, in a brutally honest way, gave me a "second chance," so to speak. While I was boiling with inner rage over the fact that I just felt so uncomfortable in this world, Muktananda came along and burned all that away in a split second. The event was known as shaktipat. Shaktipat is the spiritual equivalent of a person who was blind since birth suddenly being able to see. I will not elaborate on the shaktipat experience here because I have written volumes, and continue to write about my experiences with this Spiritual Awakening, in an actual book I am writing.

Shaktipat does not change the human-ness of a person. It DOES change their awareness of who they are and why they are here. That alone makes a person much better at what they do and what they have to share with the world. For example, at that point in time, I was a chiropractic intern, taking care of patients in the clinic setting. Before shaktipat, I was poking around at people's spines, trying to find which bone I had to push on. After shaktipat, I just went right to the subluxation that needed correcting without even a second guess. Even the doctors who were supervising me were amazed at my insight. Things were suddenly THAT different! But like I said, I'm not going to go on and on about it here since such writings exist elsewhere. I will say that it has truly made a difference. That is why I KNOW, and it's not just a "feeling," that I have a lot to offer the world as far as being a healing practitioner goes.

Now, enter Minnesota -- the state that is the LEAST friendly toward practitioners of "alternative medicine". (Although, I must say that what I do has no semblance to "medicine" at all.) Suddenly everything has become a struggle. And, after 6-1/2 years of being here, it still is. Thus, I rely on my inner awakening, the awareness of the shaktipat gift, to keep that smile on my face and to keep going forward with what I am doing. Some people would say that since I met this Guru who gave me such a gift I should have the world on a string. Well, that's not the way a true Guru works, and it's certainly not the was shaktipat works either. Like I said, it doesn't change the fact that you are human and have struggles. If it did, it would be like God herself taking away her greatest gift to humankind -- free will.

Anyway, why did I entitle this entry "Ripping Pages"? It's because THAT is what the shaktipat experience did for me. It ripped away all the pages of self-hate and illusionary smallness that WOULD have existed to this day. It changed my life forever. This is why, as a healing practitioner, I also deal with that realm of existence -- the spirit realm itself. No, I don't call on "spirit guides" and angels when I have you on my table. That's pretty far-fetched, and I would avoid any "healer" who does that. I would also avoid self-proclaimed "healers" who do not have any formal training BECAUSE they turn healing into some blind three-ring-circus. I DO, because of my extensive training with THE unadulterated form of Reiki, with my eight years of chiropractic education, with my 26 years of healthcare experience, and with my extensive experiences with Saivite and Vedanta philosophies, have a lot to offer this world. Now it's time to fill up my clinic despite all odds.