Audie Communication

It may be strange to see me writing another blog post so soon after the last one. I typically average three to four weeks between posts. I guess you can say that I made a self-discovery in the past day. If somebody asks me a question that deserves an answer, then I can come up with something to write about. Otherwise, my communication is pretty sparse. I recently started a fan page on Facebook, which as of the writing of this blog post has 109 fans. Thanks to Facebook Adwords, I am getting the word out about me and what I do as a Holistic Physician, minister, and educator. But the Adwords advertising campaign will not last very long because money is not a commodity for me right now. And, like for most audies, it never had been. Thanks to that most intriguing and baffling art form called “communication”, I, like many audies, have a terrible time making ends meet in this world.

There was once an essay written by Emily Perl Kingsley entitled “Welcome To Holland”. This writing has been adopted by many autism activist parents to describe their struggles with raising an autistic child. I recently told my wife that the neurotypical world really seems like Holland to the autistic person (the audie). She wondered how that translated. I explained that it is JUST as hard for an audie to figure out what the neurotypical (“normal”) world wants as it is for the neurotypical person to figure out how to relate to the audie. This is largely because of miscommunication and misinterpretation. Audies are very capable of communicating, but they do so in their own way. Communication is not always verbal, and when it is it is often misunderstood or done inappropriately (according to the rules of the neurotypical world, that is). What an audie is communicating, however, may make perfect sense to another audie. Figure that one out! Such is the nature of living in Holland.

Just as there are all types of audies ranging from the brilliant scientists to the totally incapacitated, there are also all levels of communication. Dr. Temple Grandin is an excellent example of an outstanding communicator, even though she has classical autism. As for me, my best form of communication is writing. This is true for most nonverbal audies, and also for those who are socially awkward with their verbalism. For nonverbal children, perhaps the best way to get them to communicate is to use picture cards. One of the followers of my Facebook fan page invented her own picture card system that helps her to communicate, quite effectively, with her autistic daughter. I have seen other such systems being used as well to help in communicating with the nonverbal audie.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that with the audie, communication has to develop and occur at its own pace and in its own way. It may never be the way the neurotypical wants it to be. Also, for the audie to learn his/her own way around Holland, I strongly urge him/her, and the neurotypical caretaker, to read the book “Unwritten Rules Of Social Relationships” by Dr. Temple Grandin and Sean Barron. Just by reading this book, the caretaker will FINALLY get a very good glimpse at what is going on in the audie’s mind. Also, the audie will learn what is expected of him/her by the neurotypical world in order to fit in, to some degree anyway.

One reason why audies, especially as children, may have tantrums or may become short-tempered is because they are TRYING their darnedest to communicate, in the way that they can, and are still often misunderstood. This is all the more reason for discovering proper communication abilities and channels early on in life. This trying and being misunderstood is still incredibly frustrating for me when I know that I didn’t exactly say what I wanted to say, and people thought I was actually meaning something completely different. Jobs have been lost because of this, and my current practice goes unbuilt for this same reason. Just because I have what some people call an “impressive” resume doesn’t mean I’ve been successful with making a living at it. I have not. Goodness knows what bridge I’d be living under if it wasn’t for the unhuman amount of patience that my wife has.

One thing that I strongly encourage, for communication building, is for the audie and their caregiver to become involved in their local chapter of the Autism Society of America. With attending their support groups and classes, each person can learn some very helpful techniques to help build and discover an effective line of communication. Not only that, but you will find that you are not alone in your plight, and you will have others that you can count on. I feel that the lack of proper communication between audie and caregiver/the neurotypical world is the most frustrating part of having an Autism Spectrum Disorder. If we all knew what the other meant and was expecting, the rest of it would be easy. How to communicate effectively is something that can only be found out by trial and error.