On Meeting The Guru

I recently wrote a sharing of the events leading up to when I met my guru. This sharing was written specifically to be included in a publication by The Light Network which is scheduled to be released later this year. To find out more about the guru and the specific path I write about here, please visit http://www.siddhayoga.org/.

They say that when the student is ready, the teacher will appear. I never realized how very significant these words would be to me someday. She came calling for the first time during my darkest days on this Earth, literally. It was April 1996. I was just one year into a fourteen-year battle with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I was at my worst point, being house-ridden most of the time, spending many days sleeping until the sun set for the day. At the same time, I was also plagued by other health issues as well as a bout of depression over a failed relationship. Not only that, I was far from any family as well. I was in Atlanta, Georgia, and they were in my home town of Reading, Pennsylvania. Such a life situation would certainly be a disruption to anyone, and having just started my internship toward becoming a Doctor of Chiropractic definitely made the situation all the more ominous. Instead of being busy in the clinic caring for patients along with my colleagues, I was lucky to just be able to get out of bed and go to school one day a week.

During this point in time, I met a fellow intern named Ellen. Ellen was one of those types of people who you could tell your life story to upon meeting them. I'm not sure exactly how many days after meeting her it was when it became apparent to me that she had a great purpose in my life. To this day, Ellen and I are great friends. I remember one afternoon we were standing in the courtyard outside of the school's bookstore. That's when I told her about my current situation. When talking to most people, my story would always be met by words of advice or the remark "It's all in your head." Ellen's words were very different. She said to me, "You need to meet my guru." I was taken aback a bit. I never expected such a reply. Then the first thing that popped into my head was, "Why do I need a guru?" Although I never followed through with Ellen's invite, I continued to build a friendship with her as time went on. Occasionally she would tell me wonderful stories of how meeting the guru changed her life.

Ellen told me about her chiropractor, who she said could help me get on my feet again. Although he did make significant improvements, it was a holistic medical physician back in my home town who made the most impact. That impact didn't come, though, until November of '97. One day in the summer of '97, I was at the chiropractor's office when I saw a sign posted for Reiki classes. I never heard of Reiki before, but I figured if it was something that could help me with my health situations I'd like to learn it. I took down the phone number, and I called later that same day. That's the first time I ever talked to Betty, my Reiki Master. Betty explained the concept of Reiki and why the method she taught was superior to others. I wasn't moved, though. Betty seemed too staunch, and the whole idea of "spiritual healing" was still very foreign to me even though I considered myself to be spiritual in nature. I didn't contact her again, and I lived out the rest of '97 contemplating the direction of my life.

It was now March 1998. A teacher I had just met was telling the class of a meditation group that met at his office every Thursday night. I figured since I was now feeling functional and was able to make it to school just about every day, it was time for me to get out and meet more people. On April 1, I paid my first visit to his group. Although it wasn't much more than a nice way to get out of the house for a while, it did open my mind to the spiritual realm of existence. Two months later, while at my chiropractor's office, I once again saw a sign posted for Reiki classes by Betty. So, I called Betty again, and this time I did sign up for her class. I was especially glad to find out that Ellen knew Betty. I then felt confident I would be in good hands, learning something beneficial. Betty's class was scheduled to take place in July.

The weekend of the class finally came, and I was the first to arrive that Saturday morning. Little did I know how my life was about to change. It wasn't so much because of the valuable gift of Reiki healing I was about to learn, even though that was significant. It was because the door was about to open to a whole new spiritual evolution, an awakening beyond    my greatest imagination. It all started at one point during the class when I excused myself to use Betty's bathroom. There on a shelf of the towel rack was a picture of the most radiant being I've ever seen. I saw a woman wearing a red robe walking on a beach, looking out over the ocean. The energy that emanated from her was something I've never encountered before. I didn't think much else of it until the class ended the next afternoon. That's when Betty told us about her guru, the person whose picture was in the bathroom. It was the same guru that Ellen had been telling me about for the previous two years. The accounts of spiritual liberation were so fascinating that I decided it was time for me to pay a visit to the local meditation center dedicated to the path of this guru. Despite my intrigue, I put it off for another three weeks.

At the meditation center, there are two evening satsangs (community gatherings) each week. I went to the Wednesday evening program so that I could attend a brief orientation for newcomers. The greeter explained the path and the guru very concisely, and it all made perfect sense to me. In short, the goal is spiritual enlightenment, and this is achievable through grace bestowed upon us by the guru. To stay on the path, we meditate on the Self, the Divine Presence that constitutes the entire Universe, all that is manifest and unmanifest, including each one of us. To keep our focus, we chant to songs and prayers in the Sanskrit language, a language whose letters and syllables had been constructed from sounds found within the chakras, the energy centers of the body. In this way, we are balancing ourselves in body, mind, and spirit, opening ourselves to the transformation that lies ahead.

So there I was, at long last. The only person present that I knew was Betty. I sat on the floor in the meditation hall with the rest of the people. I was excited about this new experience, and everything proceeded along smoothly. As the chanting started just a few minutes later, I hesitated to join in. In fact, I became increasingly uncomfortable. I definitely noticed a change in the energy of the room, and I became afraid of it. I had no idea what was happening. I was just thankful when the program ended ninety minutes later. I left the building with no intention to return. It was nice to have checked things out, but it wasn't my thing. It was much too strange indeed. But the guru wasn't done with me yet.

Three weeks later, I received an unexpected phone call a girl named Nadya who I met in my Reiki class. She asked me if I was interested in getting together with her the following week. I was pleasantly surprised by her offer, as I found her to be someone I'd be interested in getting to know. I gladly accepted. Her plan was for us to meet at the same meditation center for the Wednesday evening gathering after which we would go out for coffee. Although the idea of attending another satsang was nowhere on my radar, I would certainly go there to meet up with Nadya. So, there I was again the next week to take part in a program that had left me feeling out of sorts three weeks earlier. I waited in the reception area right up until the minute the program started. But Nadya never showed. I figured since I was there I'd stay for the evening instead of leaving abruptly. What happened next planted me firmly on this new path for good.

We started out by watching a video of the guru talking about the benefits of chanting and meditating. The guru talked about the Guru Principle, and how even if you are going along at a slow, comfortable pace, you are still deriving the benefits of the practice. That was just what I needed to hear! I no longer felt intimidated by the things I didn't understand and perhaps wasn't ready yet to partake in. She made it clear to me in that moment that I was exactly where I needed to be. I instantly warmed up and became receptive. I figured from that point on I would attend every evening program I could. (To this day, attending daytime events is nearly impossible due to my chronic sleep disorder.) After that night's event, I stayed and got to know some of the people there. I found them to be a friendly and supportive bunch, and I was glad to see that there were many opportunities to volunteer my services there, such as working in the kitchen and preparing the center for events.

Before I tell the rest of the story, I need to point out one very crucial factor. I have Autism Spectrum Disorder. People with ASD naturally vibrate on a higher spiritual level. Because of this, we are more sensitive to etheric energies, especially changes in their intensity and direction. This is why even though such people cannot read body language or catch onto social clues very well, we are well aware of the world around us simply through the perception of the environment's energy. When the most powerful change of all occurs, the sudden awakening of the dormant Kundalini energy, the results are mind-blowing beyond comprehension. As for my perception of energy goes, I find the movement of the etheric waves to be astoundingly helpful in my practice as a chiropractor, a Reiki healer, and as a medical intuitive. I explain all of this in detail in my upcoming book "Autism & Spirituality: A New Paradigm".

During the next three weeks, I attended both the Wednesday and Saturday evening satsangs. I became filled with enthusiasm, and I began studying the main philosophies upon which the guru's teachings were based, Vedanta and nondual Kashmir Shaivism. I spent my free time reading books written by the guru who brought this great path around the world. Learning about all the deities and what they represented gave me greater awareness and devotion for the many forms in which The Divine has appeared throughout the ages. It didn't take long for me to set up a puja, an altar of worship, in my apartment in front of which I spent many hours meditating.

Then came the evening of Saturday, October 3, 1998. What seemed like the usual chanting and meditation get-together turned out to be anything but for me. The meditation hall was infused with the heaviness of the energy created by a meditation intensive event that took place there earlier that day. Upon entering the center that night, I could feel that energy swirling in the air, penetrating everything and everyone, bringing me to a new level of inner stillness. Shortly after the program began, we got right to chanting. That's when the ordinary ceased to exist, and the rest of my life would never be the same. Only ten minutes into the chant, I lost all awareness of where I was. I ceased to exist. There wasn't even awareness itself. I really don't know how long I was there in that nihility. The next thing I knew, I was watching The Big Bang as it was actually happening. The explosion of light ushered in a new era in my existence, a rebirth, a new manifestation of my own Self. As I observed celestial bodies emerging from the light and whizzing by me, I gradually regained my awareness of being in the meditation hall. The chant was still in progress, and I rejoined.

Immediately after the program, as we were gathering for the refreshments afterwards, I rushed over to Betty to tell her about what I experienced. The more I talked, the wider her eyes became. She finally laughed and said, "Oh my God! You received Shaktipat!" I had no idea what that meant. I thought such things were reserved for the highly advanced practitioners. Over the course of the next six months, though, I found out exactly what it meant through many amazing mystical experiences, dreams, conversations with otherworldly beings, flashing "angel" lights, and the amazing sensations of the awakened Kundalini coursing through my body. Lifelong self-defeating behaviors and thoughts melted away, intuition blossomed, and a new vision of purpose and existence itself emerged. I was definitely not the same person. The entire Universe itself came to my rescue and lifted me to a new height.

I came to learn about, and experience, the oneness of the Universe, all that is seen and unseen. I realized that we are not separate from God. I identified, in due time, that God is not a being who sits in wait; God is the Consciousness from which all that is becomes manifest. I also lost all sense of fear knowing that all the enlightened beings who walk and ever had walked the face of the Earth were now present to watch over me as I continued on this great spiritual path. When you surrender yourself to the Guru Principle, you transcend the ordinary and the purely physical. The chains that caused you to believe that you are a limited being with an ordinary existence fall away. Life takes on a whole new meaning and purpose.

Surrendering to the Guru Principle does not mean your life gets better. To the contrary, mine became even more challenging. God tests one's faith and devotion. But the more one sticks to the path, the greater the rewards in the end, the "rewards" being the maintenance of unwavering liberation from attachment, the clarification of God's existence in this world as this world, and the steadfastness of your own place in the entire Universe. Seeing beyond the purely physical helped me through all the hardships I experienced during the course of the next fifteen years including continued health woes, homelessness, a disheartening marriage and divorce, fruitless entrepreneurial ventures in various parts of the country, and my eventual diagnosis with Autism Spectrum Disorder at the age of forty-five. My strength came from the awareness that it was all part of my refining process, the buffing of a slug into a diamond. It was my way of proving how much I desired to be made as the guru by the awakened Kundalini.

This process is not for the fainthearted or the squeamish. You will face your fears, and you will be asked to conquer them, to rise above them. Being an enlightened being means you have risen above all that was meant to belittle you, contain you, limit you. The only way this is even remotely possible is by silencing the ego and opening the heart. When you show the guru that you are committed to enduring such a regeneration, the Guru Principle does all it needs to do to help you achieve such a state. That's when the fun begins. And if you stay the course, the fun never ends. This is what's possible when you meet your guru. In reality, though, it is not you who chooses the guru; it is the guru who chooses you. God does not call the blessed. God blesses the called. When you are brought onto such a path, you treat it with great respect. And that's how one becomes a spiritually enlightened being.